Course 5 Activity 6: Share Your Reflection
Think about a situation when your son/daughter did something that you disliked. You felt really bad/hurt about it. Now analyse the situation in the light of these: what they had done?
Why did they behave/say in this manner? How did
you react to it? How differently could you respond in this situation? Share
your reflection.
Think about a situation when your son/daughter did something that you disliked.
ReplyDeleteShowing uninterested in going to tuition
DeleteGetting less marks
DeleteWhen she answer back
DeleteStaying late night
DeleteSmoking,and telling lies
DeleteAs a parent I will make him/her understand what is good and what is bad.
DeleteI received a complain from my elder son's school, that he had used a bad word to his principal . I scolded him very badly as I was so astonished. Then realized it was due to peer pressure, and taught him how to deal with the situation,. He apologized and felt ashamed also .
Deletestaying at a friends house
DeleteWhen lie to me, and being disrespectful
DeleteANswer back to me and lie
Deletebunking the class and going for movie with friends , i will counsel him and try to make him understand that it is not the right way to do and make him understand the situation
ReplyDeleteSpeaking lie to avoid scolding. As a parent I will try to make the child feel comfortable and confide in me what made him or her to speak lie.
ReplyDeleteScoring less marks, hiding result. I will counsel him/her to face the facts and improve grades, not to hide or run from the situation.
ReplyDeleteMy son never shares his feelings. But then I spoke to him like a friend and gave him a supportive hand . He now shares every good or bad with me .
ReplyDeleteChosen the stream of course different from my choice. His approach towards future is different.
ReplyDeleteThis is very important to talk with our child.My son never shares his feelings. But then I spoke to him like a friend and gave him a supportive hand . He now shares every good or bad with me .
ReplyDeletemy childhood was vey seriously passed away. i have shaed my good feeling with my friends
ReplyDeleteAlways quite in hiding the reality. One of my students- I try to be very close and ask him according to his priorities and being and very Frank and friendly.Then he automatically tries to open up his problems to me.Then I help him and insist not to commit the same mistakes hereafter.
ReplyDeleteOne is more talkative and the other is not talking. Both have to be neutralized.
ReplyDeleteSmall lies, hiding things are some of the behavioural issues in childhood. can be solved by addressing them indirectly, without taking names and counsel them.
ReplyDeleteAt first, it was a shock. Later when I spoke to the child I could understand what made the child to take such a decision. Repeated counselling helps children to come out of their negative qualities.
ReplyDeleteMany a times I observe my child behaving in a manner or doing a certain thing which every adolescent would like to do. According the moral value which are imbibed by parents that particular act is wrong. But If I blame a teenager or if I want her to stop doing that or if i want her to change those actions first step is to develop a repo and a level of trust with our own child. I generally make her understand that she is not wrong and I try to connect to her feelings and needs. Once she feels heard and understood. She opens up and shares everything. I also make her aware of the consequences where she needs to decide and make a correct choice. This works for me.
ReplyDeleteShowing less interest in studies..... By giving clear a advices and motivation helped my son to bring interest in studies
ReplyDeleteMy son was caught with a chit.
ReplyDeleteBeing a woman of ethics, I totally disliked his act and I very rudely scolded him for it.
But then I thought at least he realized his mistake and had the courage to accept and admit it infront of us. So leaving aside my anger, I made him calm n comfortable and made him realize the consequences of this kind of behaviour. And soon I could se a positive change in him.
Hiding issues at school
ReplyDeleteNot completing homework. instead of acting forever like a parent, sometimes when a sincere child makes a few mistakes, we must remember that we were also adolescents once, and accept that this is a journey to adulthood, it is not an exam that my child needs to score 100% on. be a friend as well as a mentor, not a dictator.
ReplyDeleteMy son used to studies only Mathematics because it was his favourite subjects,but for studying other subjects like SST,Marathi,Sanskrit etc he used to give many false reasons such as stomach ache,feeling sleepy ,head ache etc.when i counselled him and told him how other subjects are equally important.
ReplyDeleteMy son was very friendly and vocal with me. We used to watch movies together and talk about anything under the sun.
ReplyDeleteI will ask my son to share his problems. We can discuss giving general examples.
ReplyDeleteI can discuss with my daughter anything ....
ReplyDeleteChildren sometimes hide things from parents .
ReplyDeleteWhen my son was in class 9 , once he came back after playing I realised that he has smoked. I
ReplyDeletecould smell cigerette when he talked. He immediately accepted what he has done and told that it was out of peer pressure and to experiment the experiance.
I am a teacher and being a son of a teacher, I always told him to be a role model to others. This incident really shattered me. I broke in front of him into tears and scolded him.
But later when I analised the situation, I thought about his age through which he is passing , I regretted that I could have been be more calm and could have told the things to him in a different way.
Once my daughter had a fight with his friend. And it went severe when it was physical. I asked her the reason for being volatile.
ReplyDeleteInitially i was angry. Then i realized i have also been Volatile in my response. So i called my daughter and her friend together and sat and discussed with them .surprisingly the problem got solved.
once i got a message from my son's school that he had a fight with his friend and he had told some bad words to the friend. I was called by the school and was asked about my child's behaviour. I was upset and thought of talking to my son. I made him understand that using bad words to the peer is not good and even it can put your parents in an awkward situation.
ReplyDeleteMy three sons got education from the same school where I serve. They never discussed any problem from the school but all three become introvert. They felt We were always under your supervision.
ReplyDeleteThink about a situation when your son/daughter did something that you disliked. You felt really bad/hurt about it. Now analyse the situation in the light of these: what they had done?
ReplyDeleteWhy did they behave/say in this manner? How did you react to it? How differently could you respond in this situation? Share your reflection.
BEING A TEACHER IN THE SAME SCHOOL, I THINK MY CHILD WOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN UNDER PRESSURE OF BEHAVING WELL.
Being a psychology background educator it is very easy for me to analysis the situation. I always use my analytical skills to understand the situation which leads to certain inappropriate behavior and try to avoid those situation in the future.
ReplyDeleteFirst I will talk with my daughter and help her understand the situation where she went wrong and also help her to understand the best possible alternative for that behaviour. Being a father I also do introspection that was my behaviour wrong or not and next time I will make it sure that I will be a best role model for my child to imitate.
ReplyDeleteThey did something wrong because at that age they don't know what is wrong and what is right. They miss behave with elder may be they are influenced by some peers. My reaction: I will taught them what is write what is wrong. I'll be the best friend of my child so they can share everything with me like their emotions their problems anything.
ReplyDeleteNot taking online classes seriously and getting low marks in all subjects.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes our children disappoint when they break bounds. My son took mobile from his sister to school and was caught by the HM. The situation was worrying as he had given to his friends in school and it would have aggravated to a great extent.
ReplyDeleteMy reaction to situation was even worse that I hit my son rather than counselling him. For parents it is really embarrassing and discouraging if your own ward gets into a discipline problem. I realized quite late that my extreme reaction was not called
During my urgent work, they may trouble me.
ReplyDeleteWhen slang word was used by my son, was very upset, scolded and explained to him politely by holding him in arms what is its meaning and he promised not to utter it future and till date he remembers this incidence and sticks to his words.
ReplyDeleteI might react in an angry way, but will try to councel him about the things which are wrong but might seem cool in his age.
ReplyDeleteThis is very important to talk with our child.My daughter never shares his feelings. But then I spoke to her like a friend and gave her a supportive hand . She now shares every good or bad with me .Speaking lie to avoid scolding. As a parent I will try to make the child feel comfortable and confide in me what made her to speak lie.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter talks back in an insensitive manner sometimes, specially when she gets angry. It is sometimes hurting. Specially when she is asked to share or do some work she flares up. This has caused a lot of displeasure wherever she goes. Listened to her, made her understand that there should be empathy. Sharing always makes any job easier. she has understood and stops doing it atleast for sometime. Then it comes all over again and once again make her see things and talk and talk.....
ReplyDeleteSometimes children feel embarass to share their thoughts as adolescents they undergo lot of changes physically, socially and emotionally. We as adults should be like friends to them and should talk to them in a manner where they can understand things also and do not feel ashamed of themselves too.
ReplyDeleteNot systematic in studies
ReplyDeleteMy daughter discussed all with me
ReplyDeletePlanning is very poor among my children.
ReplyDeleteStaying on the screen for longer period , mostly I shout at him . I can just sit along with him and make him understand the impact and try to make him busy in some other things
ReplyDeleteMy daughter discussed all with me and I shall listen to her and analyze the problem
ReplyDeleteI will listen him what he wants to say about the wrong deed. I will show my concern and convince him he was wrong. I will be vigilant on him. I will be empathetic in my dealing.
ReplyDeleteI have a son . I have confronted situation where I was disappointed sometimes because of his behavior. Firstly scolded and then tried to make him realize what he has done and why it is wrong. What will be the consequences of this.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes our children disappoint when they break bounds. My son took mobile from his sister to school and was caught by the HM. The situation was worrying as he had given to his friends in school and it would have aggravated to a great extent.
ReplyDeleteMy reaction to situation was even worse that I hit my son rather than counselling him. For parents it is really embarrassing and discouraging if your own ward gets into a discipline problem. I realized quite late that my extreme reaction was not called for.
When l saw my son smoking l got angry at first but then l handled situation and calmed me down and made him understand the negative effects of it.
ReplyDeleteChildren coming mistakes .that obvious .in certain situations I have been very rude . Could have shown patience
ReplyDeleteWhen my son entered in class 9th his behavior changed in school and at home ,As I working in the same school and being his class teacher it was very difficult for me to handle the situation . I was worried how to control him and stop his misbehavior . Some time I was failed to handle situation and out of my senesces . I realized that first I need counselling and then my son . I am thankful to our school counselor to counsel for me and my son which was very helpful to show him correct path.
ReplyDeleteWhen l saw my daughter going for a party and lied about it. l got angry at first but then l handled situation with utmost patience and calmness and made her understand the consequences/negative effects of it and made her face the music.
ReplyDeleteShowing less interest in studies..... By giving clear a advices and motivation helped my daughter to bring interest in studies
ReplyDeleteMy son had a girlfriend when he was in class 11. He started lying and bunked his tuition classes. I felt bad when I came to know but I sat down and talked to him about it. He understood my concern and since then he has been honest with me.
ReplyDeleteChildren sometimes hide things from parents. Now my son is only one year old. So I haven't such experiences. But in future I am sure I may face these problems. My decision is to talk him friendly and ask him to express his views freely
ReplyDeleteGets extremely angry when confronted with anything, I now understand that she could be frustrated with something too, not everything is about me.
ReplyDeletemore use of electronc evices
ReplyDeleteOnce my daughter got aggressive over some issue to which i scolded her badly but later realised that it was her teenage that made her behave that way. So i later explained her politely that she did wasn't right and shouldn't shouldn't behave that way in the future as her words could hurt somebody, and she did not repeat it again. Kids understand things morr effectively when it is explained to them in a polite way.
ReplyDeleteWhen my son entered in class 10 his behavior changed suddenly . As I was his class teacher it was challenge for me to handle the situation in school and at home . His misbehavior in class I used to discuss at home but later I realized I was over reacting and over expecting . I took help of school counselor and situation really changed. I realized counselling is required to parents also to understand their child.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew had once used a foul word in a message to some person whose meaning he did not know. I questioned him. He obviously lied. But we got reconfirmation from the receiver. I reaction was quite sharp and drastic where I raised my voice. I could keep my calm and question in a way to get his acceptance.
ReplyDeletemore use of electronc evices
ReplyDeleteInstead of reacting to the situation immediately and giving negative comments, we can try to talk to them later about the issue and understand the problem of the child. Also by giving guidance to the child we can help them to change their attitude and behaviors.
ReplyDeleteStaying late night
ReplyDeleteI found my son browsing playing games during online classes. I counselled him well and he too understood it
ReplyDeleteThink and observe the situations and make sure to overcome the curiosity of the students related to the problems and we treat as a friend or colleague for the moment.
ReplyDeleteIt caused an upheaval. But love and patience brought out the required change.
ReplyDeleteTrying to be absent for the class. I have counseled him made him understand that what he is trying to do is wrong and encouraged him to attend the class
ReplyDeleteShowing uninterested in going to tuition
ReplyDeleteMy son discussed all with me and I shall listen to her and analyse the problem.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter discussed all with me and I shall listen to him and analyse the problem..
ReplyDeleteMy son discussed all with me and I shall listen to his and analyse the problem..
ReplyDeleteProcrastination. I was harsh but later felt that I could have dealt that better by communicating properly
ReplyDeleteTelling a lie. I will talk to him politely and explain the importance of speaking the truth.
ReplyDeleteStudying in the same school where the parent work poses a big burden on children .They are always under surveillance..They are forced to behave in the so called accepted manner, also their comparatively ignorable mistakes ate exaggerated by so of the very educated teachers as well.At times they become the prey of personal indifferences too.
ReplyDeleteWhen my son, lied that he had not received any marks. I was angry at first but later spoke to him in a more relaxed manner and made him realise that it is not necessary to hide anything from your parents and that we are their well wishers always
ReplyDeleteMy son stole the chocolate and took it to the school which was not allowed. I came to know about this by my daughter. He got afraid. But I did not scolded him.
ReplyDeleteI asked him politely and he told me everything.
I told him a small story and encouraged him not to repeat the mistake again and asked him share every thought with us.
If my son is not doing the things which I like
ReplyDelete1. I can talk to him
2. I will let him do if its right or correct
3. We will discuss
4. If its wrong than I will make him understand that how to Identify wrong and right thing to do...
If he does something I dislike, I will seek the reason behind it. I will listen to him carefully and will correct his thought. I think a lovely hug and care from parents side can correct the children whatever the mistakes they do.
ReplyDeleteMy Child does not follow instructions. I need to be more calm and careful while dealing with him.
ReplyDeleteWith lock down, doing online classes, being at home increased the gadget usage of my kid more. Though when he is in good mood, talking to him helps, still need to instill that self control to face his future in a better way.
ReplyDeleteRising late in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI used to scold her at first but later I realised that It is because she needs her own time and space to talk to her friends, enjoy her hobbies and she is more comfortable in studying at night.
I have discussed with her the difficulties I face on her late rising. She understood it well and she tries to lessen my pressure of work by independently doing them, like preparing her breakfast, making of the bed and arranging the other things. finally a healthy discussion and empathy worked.
When my daughter answer back
ReplyDeleteBeing empathetic and listen to their point of view. Put ourselves in their position and anlyse before deciding the course of action
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteCopying answer while writing test. Scolded him and later realised i should tell him the importance of truthfulness
ReplyDeleteLock down situation very much effect education system. School was strated few days ago. My son is very enthusiastic about school. But principal scold him for his hairstyle. I know that type of situation is helpful for his future. I know it from another teacher of his school. He is our wellwisher . On Sunday I talk with him peacefully and he agree with me that its unnatural with school uniform and school campus. However he said that he influenced by another classmates who regular talk with whatsapp call. Those students also change hairstyle as normal. We are happy with this experience. I personally happy because earlier my son realise his mistake it's a social qualities.
ReplyDeleteThis was when my child took a friend's watch to have a look at it out of curiosity and fascination and placed it on the top of her open textbook. When the bell rang, as it was interval time, the book was closed with the watch between the pages. This was done without the intention of stealing, but she was accused of it. The episode did hurt her and me too in the process. I explained it out to her that it is not good to take other's things even if it is to just have a look, we must return it immediately. It was a lesson learnt in a bitter way.
ReplyDeleteMy son get into a fight and even get a injury at its forehead which he tries to hide with his long hair but i caught him. He did this because i don't like him to get into a fight. I think he should share this type of incidents with me. I tried to counsel him and make him understand what is correct.
ReplyDeleteIt’s very important to understand that these hurtful words your child is using are not about you at all. Taking it personally often leads to a big emotional reaction from you, which reinforces the bad behavior. This tells your child that they’re powerful—and have power over you—which helps the behavior continue in the future. Kids often spout off hurtful words like these when they have a problem they don’t know how to solve, whether they’re angry, stressed, or dealing with feelings about something bad that happened at school that day. Not being able to handle their problems leads your child to feelings of discomfort—and pushing your buttons and getting a strong emotional reaction from you helps to make up for those feelings of discomfort.
ReplyDeleteI always prefer to listen to my daughter patiently and then advice her.
ReplyDeleteAn empathetic approach towards the kids will definitely help in shaping their moral, emotional, social values. Proper guidance and understanding of the child is required to help him/her develop the ability to make correct choices in life.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is very stubborn whatever she demands we have to fulfill that now I started to analyse her behaviour and reason behind this I am treating just like a friend so that she share all her feelings with me so that I can control her stubborn nature
ReplyDeleteIt hurt really bad . I felt betrayed when it happened once and tried to communicate better thereafter. Things have been better. Atleast I hope so
ReplyDeleteMy both children are quite matured as they are properly guided.
ReplyDeleteThe better way is to communicate.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter comes to me
ReplyDeletewith any problem she is facing with friends or teachers. nstead of reacting to the situation immediately and giving negative comments. I try to be calm and talk to her and understand the problem. Then share my personal experience in the similar situation and then give guidance. In this way I try to help and change her attitude and behaviors.
When see sits before TV for long time
ReplyDeleteEarlier he never used to introduce his friends to me. Slowly I gained his confidence as a friend and now he invites all of them home.
ReplyDeleteThis is very important to talk with our child. My son never shares his feelings. But then I spoke to him like a friend and gave him a supportive hand . He now shares every good or bad with me .
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw my child argument with me then I scolded him very badly. Then I tried to understand the reasons of his discomfort and aggressive behavior.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and her friends had booked a stall in the Fun-n-fare on the eve of the New Year. Her friends had planned for a loss-making activity. I warned my daughter about it. Although she realized what I was saying was right, she gave in to her peers' plan. Later when they suffered a loss and she received an unfair share in profit she felt sorry for being in the group and decided never to let it happen again.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I warned my daughter. But allowed her to take her own decisions and learn for her own mistakes. From this I learnt that experience is the best teacher.
I will try to have a meaningful conversation once both of us are peaceful so that the outcome is fruitful
ReplyDeleteMy son never show interest in the Indian system of education as it is marks oriented, later I talk with him about the system and tried to motivate him.
ReplyDeleteI'm fond of drawing, painting and have a good Handwriting but my elder son, he was not having interest in anyone of these so I was worried about him, so I used to talk with him and told him about my interests through the help of stories and told him the beauty of colors ,then slowly I came to know which type of paintings or colours he's interested in,then kept those classes for him and now he enjoys them and I'm also happy with his performance
ReplyDeleteOnce my daughter and I had a disagreement over parent-child relationship. The argument took an ugly turn and she told me instances when I was unreasonable. I was very hurt and didn't talk to her for few days. When she called to apologise, I felt I was unreasonable too. I apologised too. All was fine between but I thought, later, that I could have taken a different approach.
ReplyDeleteChildren need proper emotional and mental support in the teenage. We must respect their feelings instead of moral policing them constantly.
ReplyDeleteI have a son and a daughter, both teenagers. So I always analyse the situation and consider if I have been too strict, that had compelled my child to act in a certain way. Then councel him/her only till he/she is able to tolerate my preaching. Not blame friends alone but also see if my child has been a bad influence on others. Try to give company and simple entertainments so that he/she doesn't seek them from others or outside.
ReplyDeleteI must say that I am lucky enough that my children never did something which I would dislike. The reason I think is that I became their friend when they started understanding people around them, we used to discuss events, people and situations as friends and not as mother and children.
ReplyDeleteMy 10 year old son used money given to him by his grandmother, without my knowledge. I explained him the importance of asking elders in the family before taking any such decisions as he was too young to spend money on his own.
ReplyDeleteमेरे अनुसार इस तरह की शिकायत मुझे प्राप्त होगी तो अवश्य ही मेरी प्रतिक्रिया अनुकूल नहीं होगी और मैं पहले अच्छे से पता लगाने की कोशिश करूंगी कि आखिर क्या घटनाक्रम है?
ReplyDeleteयदि उस घटना में वास्तविकता पाई जाएगी तो मैं बच्चे से इस विषय पर खुलकर बात करूंगी, अवश्य कि वह कुछ बातों को छुपाने की कोशिश करेगा तो ऐसी परिस्थिति में मैं संबंधित व्यक्ति से भी संवाद अवश्य करना चाहूंगी ताकि मुझे वस्तु स्थिति का पता चल सके और मैं अपने बच्चे को सुधारने की हर संभावना का प्रयास कर सकूं।
अनीता अग्रवाल
My son is now 20 year old. There were many such incidences where I did not like his behavior. His father would always scold him but I would be more into knowing 'why this kind of behavior?'. That helped me gain his confidence. I tackle him using emotional intelligence. I would always first respond positively but later on explain what was expected from him and what he did.
ReplyDeleteIt help a lot! Children do share what ever wrong they did and also realise that they would not have done that and generally don't repeat that again.
Before reacting to what the child has done, it is important to listen to him/her and sympathize with them without judging them.
ReplyDeleteIt is very important to be calm while you are dealing with your children. They are influenced by their friends which might be wrong. So try to listen them and explain them what is right or what is wrong
ReplyDeleteI shall remain cool because loosing temper will not solve the problem. Then analyzing the situation I shall solve the problem.
ReplyDeleteBefore reacting to what the child has done, it is important to listen to him/her and sympathize with them without judging them
ReplyDeletehis is very important to talk with our child.My son never shares his feelings. But then I spoke to him like a friend and gave him a supportive hand . He now shares every good or bad with me
ReplyDeleteI received a complain from my elder son's school, that he had used a bad word to his principal . I scolded him very badly as I was so astonished. Then realized it was due to peer pressure, and taught him how to deal with the situation,. He apologized and felt ashamed also .
ReplyDeleteMy daughter misbehaved with her father and I stopped talking to her. But, now I realize that I must have talked to her, understand her feelings and then react.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent we need to be friendly with their children so that they share everything with their parents. A balance needs to be maintained in parents and children relationship as sometimes strictness is required. Still if lies is told we need to understand the reason behind it before reacting to it. Why did the child told lie to you needs to be investigated with love
ReplyDeleteI reacted aggrevisely initially but after handling the whole situation I understood the outcomes from both sides. And handled the situation calmly.
ReplyDeleteScored less mark in some competitive exam. It was ok. Neither she nor I took pain to score good marks. Yet I was not happy and reacted harshly. My submissive girl always carried guilt. There was no mistake of hers. She was an ordinary child and I compared her with some intelligent children. Today when I look back feel how badly I hurt the poor child. Always she carried burden of our expectation. Fact is No need to pressurise child. She is a very good caring human being daughter and sister. I know everybody today will stand on his her feet. Motivation is needed. That is the key. Tagging a child serves nothing. I should be avoidng being judgemental.
ReplyDeleteCommunication and Interaction Style:
ReplyDeleteThis category reflects conflicts about an individual's way of engaging with others, primarily within the family network. Unrealized expectations seem to be the basis of many of these responses, which reflect concerns about communication, contact, and interaction.
giving clear advice
ReplyDeleteSuch situation from a parent's side can be dealt wisely....give some time for yourself and ask urself why my child had done so....don't judge your children. They are definitely better version of us.
ReplyDeleteMy son was just 4 years old when he unknowingly brought some of his school-mate's stuff home. On enquiring I realised that he had no idea that such an act is called stealing. I explained him that if we need something that belongs to others, we need to take permission. He understood and the next day returned it.
ReplyDeleteAs parents we need to manifest a lot of patience and explain rationally.
Getting less marks.
ReplyDeleteA healthy talk with children always works.Give them an opportunity to share their emotions and feelings.
ReplyDeleteBy the grace of God I had a wonderful memories of my childhood. And I faced no such issues or problems related to peers. But yes I would try to do much better than what I was doing in my academics, cocurricular activities etc.( which was pretty much good) so that Im appreciated more by my teachers, parents and friends.
ReplyDeleteMy son when he is 2 yrs old went out on his own. I am busy with another important work, later felt bad for my ignorance , which I have corrected now
ReplyDeleteQuestioned my daughter for lying down and watching mobile. She answered in an irritating manner. But I kept quiet. Later explained that's not good for health.
ReplyDeletewhen committing blunders despite warning while going out and speaking with strangers.
ReplyDeleteMy children often confided in me, as I was (and still ,is) a teacher at home and school.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed good to know that they trust me and confide in me
At times kids do few thinks which as a parent and due to social pressure we dislike their acts. But realizing their age and situation, their peer pressure and experimental nature of the adolescents, can understand what they are really going through. I try to avoid the discussion that very day, because we are angry at that time and will scold them badly. The next day, with cool mind I try to counsel them and make them understand the bad effects of it.
ReplyDeletemy elder daughter is not sharing her feelings with me i don't know why is she scared with me ...
ReplyDeleteI found that she is sharing all her feelings with her boy friends good or bad...
My daughter has emotional outburst when pressured into a situation which either includes expectations and not meeting them. This makes me upset and I lose my patience quickly deeming it as an act of disrespect. But when I empathize with her and see her as an individual rather than just my child, both of us are able to reach a common peaceful ground by validating each other's thought and emotions. It is important to give space to them to successfully communicate with us and we too need to adopt positive and unbiased opinion about them.
ReplyDeleteHight something and mysterious behaviours
ReplyDeleteSpeaking with them with all the calm head would help resolve the matter
ReplyDeleteAdvice the child and
ReplyDeletemake understanding what is good and bad
My children especially my son doesn't share his feelings with anyone as such not with his sister. I try to sit with him and discuss the issues. Many a times he is not interested in doing his homework. He also doesn't take much interest in sitting and paying attention in online classes. I am working hard to counsel him so that he opens up with his feelings.
ReplyDeleteMy 8 years old son shows no interest in studies and to help him focus in studies I hid the remote control of television. he bacame very furious about that. Later on I realised that inspite of totally eliminating his screen time I would have made a time table for him. So I alloted a particular time for that.
ReplyDeleteI would try to ask the facts and being parent and friend tell him all the positive and negative effects of the act.
ReplyDeleteI do re-frame my way of reaction as it's child's behaviour that I dislike and would like to correct positively. Trying to do more of what I know connects with him by reviewing and telling child about his strengths.
ReplyDeleteThough I try a lot to be very close to my daughter so that she always share everything with me but some times she doesn't feel to share. Still I am trying to convince her that she can share everything with me without any fear.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent I would be more accepting and friendly towards my son/daughter. Respect triumphs fear. Depending on the act done by my ward I would have treated minor mis-deeds as a learning experience only if its not hurting anyone. But if the act is negatively big I may resort of council ling and discussion or stricter approach of scolding if need may be.
ReplyDeletelast year my daughter was engaged in a relationship . she was not paying attention on her studies. she got lower grades. In that time i was felt that i have not given my quality time to my daughter . being a parents it is compulsory to give your quality time to kids .
ReplyDeleteDue to the current pandemic my son has got too addicted to gadgets and sometimes it becomes difficult to take him off that thing. He becomes rude and argues which is hurting
ReplyDeleteLong hours of playful activities and staying away from studies in her school days often annoyed me. But she continued to live with her fantasy in her dream world till her high school days. We never put pressure on her, never burdened her with parental expectations, on the contrary, we let her bloom in her own way. She enjoyed her childhood days and exceled in the absence of external pressure. In college and university life, inability to say 'no' to peer, in situations which demands so often creates disturbances at work. As parent, I feel, this is a very important quality that must be developed in life. I advise her to develop this quality through practice as it is impossible to please everybody around.
ReplyDeleteNot studying properly for the exam due to distractions of TV, Internet, they did not listen to me properly. I was very hurt and told them that this kind of carelessness is not acceptable. Both of them understood and are now trying their best to study well.
ReplyDeletenknownSeptember 2, 2021 at 8:30 AM
ReplyDeleteChosen the stream of course different from my choice. His approach towards future
Showing unwilling ness while doing self study. I use to tell her about the necessity of doing self study to succeed in life and also tell her about do the needful now to avoid regret in future.
ReplyDeleteTake thing to casual
ReplyDeleteMy daughter doesn't go for self study after making her understand it's importance several times
ReplyDeleteHis casual approach troubles me a lot.Because of covid he is more addicted to electronic gadgets.
ReplyDeleteFelt bad..but depending on the situation we need to react
ReplyDeletemy son skips his online classes and plays games posing he is in class. they are dong so because they feel bored in online classes and have no friends to talk to. I counselled him on this
ReplyDeleteMy child plays games while online classes are going on. As I tried to speak to him, he told me that the online classes weren't interesting, so I spoke to him about it and made sure that he attends classes and gave him specific time for playing. So now he is happy about it and shares everything with me.
ReplyDeleteMy son/daughter would have done something that i dislike (smoking) He might of done because of the Peer pressure or may be for curiosity. I will not react to him/her. instead would like to talk to him/her as a true friend, giving and showing his/her responsibility in the family and in the society. Will ask him/her to do a project work on the pros and cons of Smoking.
ReplyDeleteTry to b friendly with child and make him/her understand.Can try to tell in polite way that you didn't like whatever has a happened
ReplyDeleteMy Parents once told that schedule of time for study as well as sports , i was quite agitated as wanted to play more but later i realized they were correct and time management plays an important role ,I did well in academics as well as i won prize in Sports
ReplyDeleteWe come across many situations where we don't like the action or behaviour of our children. I disliked his behaviour of not listening to me carefully. And I scolded him badly. I may spoke to him calmly and discussed the situation.
ReplyDeletemany a situation children over react because of their fear ,stress and lack of knowledge .it is always important to listen them patiently and correct them on the points which are not known to them .we have to make them realize the reason and consequences of their decisions or reactions.
ReplyDeleteRecently my son was more inclined towards watching television and got distracted from studies. I hid the remote of television and he bacame furious over that. Later I realised that instead of completely devoiding him from TV , I can make time table for him. Now everything is sorted.
ReplyDeletetelling lies and procrastination
ReplyDeleteWe need to understand the changes going on within the child. It feels really bad when your child replies back or shouts, but at the same time we need to tackle the situation patiently.
ReplyDeleteWhen they show disrespect, instead of scolding will give them suitable suggestions and methods to avoid those unnecessary situations.
ReplyDeleteWas difficult to tackle in Lockdown period. Ignored work and took advantage of Online teaching. I got frustrated but later understood that this is just a temporary face.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent have tried to understand my daughter and have counselled her accordingly. She understands and seeks guidance when confused over making decisions.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher and a parent I will first try to understand consequences my kids are facing. Also I will ask few questions to my self like what make them behave like this? And accordingly I will talk to them and understand them. I will also guide them if they are going wrong. I promote, kids should have different think process they should not just blindly follow someone. Teacher and parent should show the right direction to the process.
ReplyDeleteIt was when my son missed his coaching class and went to a shopping mall to stroll around with his friend as there was a test to be conducted during the class. I got a complaint from his coaching teacher. That was the day I really thought to talk to him one on one and tried to find out his difficulties and why he was taking a escapists attitude. Directly talking to him opened the problems and me and my husband could understand him better and tried to sought the problem together.
ReplyDeleteexactly lack of sincerity for the studies
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe that we should always have positive interactions with your child even if child had committed mistakes because realization of one's mistake is important than scolding or giving harsh treatments....
ReplyDeleteNot adhering to submission deadlines...he was still adapting to the online mode..so he did need a bit of help from me. I helped him to get more organised.
ReplyDeleteShowing less interest in studies..... By giving clear a advices and motivation helped students interest in studies
ReplyDeleteMy son took off money from my wallet with out my knowledge and spent all. My reaction was, first I slapped, and then scolded a lot. Although I could handle the situation in a cool and calm manner to know why he has done so?
ReplyDeleteWould not listen immediately to what we say. At the initial stage there was a word war between us but later it was understood that it was due to the adolescence stage the child is behaving and we tried to handle the situation in a lighter manner which changed the tune of our life also
ReplyDeleteI always patiently listen to them and ten councel them if needed.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent I will make him/her understand what is good and what is bad.
ReplyDeleteIf my child will do something which is inappropriate I will try to counsel him and make him understand the reason behind it. Its important to listen to the child as well. This will help us understand their mentality
ReplyDeleteSome very common problems like careless attitude towards studies and also behavioral issues. Internet has taken role of peer for them which has its both pros and cons. These students when emotional stable must be counselled.
ReplyDeletein many a situation children over react because of their fear ,stress and lack of knowledge .it is always important to listen them patiently and correct them on the points which are not known to them .we have to make them realize the reason and effects of there deeds in future
ReplyDeleteI often noticed my daughter watching one or the other program in social media and gets irritated if she is interrupted . Silently I observed and tried to advice on health ground, but in vain. Then I changed the strategy. Created family time, gadgets free hour and spent time with her. It worked well.
ReplyDeleteI would not react . Rather I would first listen to their problems patientlly
ReplyDeleteFirst I would listen to the fact, then act according to the necessity.
ReplyDeletemy son was more into games and not very keen in studies initially. but later learnt what was good for him , took a lot of patience to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI would first listen to them what they have to say then very calmly would let them know what is good for them. Being in adolescent age, U need to handle them emotionally.
ReplyDeleteI started to be more communicative with my daughter
ReplyDeleteI would not react . Rather I would first listen to their problems patiently.
ReplyDeleteDoing forcefully subject which she didn't like
ReplyDeleteWhen he started answering back
ReplyDeleteChildren some time do not share their feelings, feel hesitate. But they should be taken in confidence.
ReplyDeleteI would prefer to stay calm and discuss about it once the situation is preferable, rather than shouting back and advicing
ReplyDeleteSitting down and talking, discussing each others' points of view is the best option
ReplyDelete